Vamos!

An article I wrote for the Anthropology Department Newsletter, Culture and Society.

I spent this past semester in the Dominican Republic learning Spanish and working at a Women's Center.  Especially at the beginning of the semester, I would frequently find myself lost in conversations - not the kind of lost where time and place seem to fade away because I'm so intrigued with what the other person has to say, but the kind of lost where people are talking at me and I haven't a clue of what they are saying.  One of the most common and comical ways this would play out would be when my host mom would approach me and rattle off something in Spanish.  After a moment of staring blankly as my response, she would gesture and say "Vamos!" ("Let's go!") and I would know to get in the car.  I would then scamper into the backseat like a little kid without a clue as to where we were going or how long we might be gone.  I just knew an adventure was beginning and my mom would take care of me.  I think this is a lot like our walk with Christ.  We don't always understand what God is doing or where He is taking us, but we must trust the voice that calls to us, "Vamos!"  and rest in the knowledge that an adventure is beginning and He will take care of us.

Unfinished Business

Last night I was driving to a friend’s house who lives about 30 minutes away.  It was raining pretty hard, was dark, and almost impossible to see any lines on the road because the water and lights had turned it into a mirror.  Whenever cars approached from side streets, with their headlights shining into my car, I had this image of them not being able to stop and crashing into me.  I thought about how I could die or be horribly injured so easily and so quickly, when suddenly this great peace came over me that that would be okay.  It made me wonder if God was preparing me for something and I began to doubt that I would actually make it to my destination, but like I mentioned before, somehow none of this seemed concerning, just a simple matter of reality.

I began thinking about how I would feel about dying.  Not the actual act of dying, but more the status of all my relationships.  If I were to die without getting the chance to say anything more, would that be okay?  Would I have any regrets?

People often talk about living without regrets.  I don’t think that’s possible.  If you have ever done anything wrong, chances are you wish you hadn’t.  I have regrets, but I also have closure on them.  I decided a better question than, “Do I have regrets?” is “Do I have any unfinished business?”

If I were to die in this instance without the opportunity to say or do another thing, would I be okay with the way I left my relationships?  For instance, if I couldn’t say another word to my parents, I think that’d be okay.  They know that I love them; we are on good terms; I don’t think I’d be leaving them with any questions.  Other people, however, there might be questions:

Did she really care about me?

Was she upset with me or hurt by me?

Did she care or even know about how much she hurt me?

I don’t want to leave these questions unanswered for the people who would survive me. 

Rather than the question, “Would I have regrets?” I think it is better to ask ourselves, “Would I have unfinished business?”  At any moment our lives could be over and I think we might fear death less if we knew our “affairs were in order”, so to speak.

Let’s live without unfinished business.